Making time for each other can become difficult once work, children and everyday responsibilities take over. For many couples, especially parents of young children, time together slowly gets replaced by routines, schedules and household tasks.
Joyce Kay Hamilton was consulted for her professional expertise on this topic in an article originally published by DFW Child.
Alex Fergus, 33, and her husband Ryan, 35, have been together for 10 years and married for three and a half. The Dallas couple has always enjoyed going to concerts and baseball games together, but after having children, spending time alone as a couple became much less frequent.
Like many parents of young children, they slipped into a child-centered routine where couple time nearly disappeared.
“We absolutely know that we need work on dating,” Alex says. “It’s actually one of our New Year’s resolutions.”
They have talked about having date nights at home after the kids go to bed — preparing a meal together, putting away their phones and simply talking.
“The problem is that we talk about doing this way more than we actually make it happen,” Alex admits.
Why Couple Time Matters
For many couples, the challenge is not understanding that time together is important. It is actually making it happen.
“Regular date nights help couples stay more connected and bonded, and they get less irritable with one another,” explains Joyce Kay Hamilton, a marriage counselor and couples therapist in Dallas.
It is easy to fall into a routine of going to work, managing the household and raising children while giving less attention to the relationship itself.
Couples can gradually begin to feel more like partners managing daily life than husband and wife.
Making intentional time for each other creates space to reconnect and remember what brought you together in the first place.
Date Night Does Not Have to Be Complicated
There is no perfect rule for how often couples should have a date night.
Some may be able to make time once a week, while others may find that once or twice a month is more realistic. What matters more is the quality of the time spent together.
Even small daily moments can make a difference.
Sharing coffee before the children wake up, taking a walk together or putting phones away for 15 or 20 minutes at the end of the day can create an opportunity to reconnect.
Use that time to talk about your day, show appreciation, share concerns or discuss hopes and plans for the future.
The goal is not to create the perfect date. It is simply to continue making space for the relationship.
Keep Communication About More Than Everyday Responsibilities
Connection should not be limited to planned date nights.
Flirt with each other. Give compliments. Send a thoughtful text during the day. Talk about something other than schedules, groceries or household responsibilities.
These small gestures help keep warmth and affection present in everyday life.
When positive communication is already part of the relationship, date nights can become a time to talk about interests, hopes, ideas and plans rather than simply catching up on chores and logistics.
Keep Fun in the Relationship
Spending quality time together does not always have to mean dinner at a restaurant or a big night out.
Simple activities can often be just as meaningful:
- Take a walk together.
- Do something you enjoyed when you first started dating.
- Try a new activity together.
- Have a date night at home after the kids go to bed.
- Meet for lunch during the week.
“Having fun and laughing together is so important,” Hamilton says.
“The key is to bring the joy back into your relationship.”
Fun is easy to overlook when life becomes busy, but it remains an important part of staying close and connected.
Reconnecting Can Start with Something Simple
Robin Marie Lawson, 41, and her husband Eric, 43, found that something as simple as walking together became an important part of reconnecting in their marriage.
By their 11th wedding anniversary, date nights had largely disappeared and they felt their relationship beginning to drift.
After seeking counseling, they were encouraged to start making intentional time for each other again. They began taking regular walks together and occasionally going to comedy clubs.
Six years later, Robin described the dates as “as much a part of our continued work on our marriage as they are just for fun.”
Their experience is a reminder that reconnecting does not always require a major change.
Sometimes it starts with something as simple as taking a walk together.
Keep Dating Your Spouse
The real value of date night is not the activity itself. It is the decision to continue making your relationship a priority.
Regular one-on-one time helps couples stay connected beyond their roles as parents, professionals or partners managing a household.
Children can benefit from this too. They learn about relationships by watching the adults around them communicate, spend time together and make an effort to maintain a healthy partnership.
Whether it is a planned night out, lunch together, a walk around the neighborhood or 20 quiet minutes at home, what matters most is continuing to make time for one another.
A Final Thought
We hope these ideas encourage you to make a little more room for connection in your relationship, whether that means planning a date night, taking a walk together or simply setting aside a few quiet minutes to talk without distractions.
Small, intentional moments can help couples feel heard, appreciated and connected. Sometimes, keeping a relationship strong begins with something as simple as choosing to make time for each other.
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