Every day we interact with all kinds of people. Our family, friends, coworkers, doctors, the person making our coffee, and sometimes even complete strangers.
How we communicate with those people can have a big impact on how we understand one another. And communication is not always just about what we say. Sometimes we respond based on how we are feeling in the moment. Other times, we slow down, listen, and think about how the other person may be feeling.
That is where therapeutic communication can be helpful.
Therapeutic communication simply means being more thoughtful about the way you listen and respond to another person. It is often used in counseling and healthcare, but many of the same ideas can be useful in everyday conversations too.
So, what does that actually look like?
Verbal and Nonverbal Communication
We communicate with more than just words.
Our facial expressions, eye contact, gestures, tone of voice, posture, and even how close we stand to someone can all affect the way our message comes across.
That is why it helps to pay attention to what your body is doing while someone else is talking.
For example, if a friend is telling you something important, simply looking at them, nodding when appropriate, and showing that you are paying attention can make a difference.
You may not even realize you are doing it, but your nonverbal communication can sometimes say just as much as your words.
Using Silence
This one can be hard.
Some of us get uncomfortable when there is silence in a conversation. I know I do! My first instinct is often to say something just to fill the space.
But sometimes silence is exactly what the other person needs.
If someone is talking about something difficult or emotional, they may need a few seconds to think about what they want to say next. You do not always need to jump in with an answer.
Sometimes the best thing you can do is listen, stay present, and give them a little time.
Clarify What You Hear
Have you ever listened to someone tell a story and thought you understood exactly what they meant, only to realize later that you had it completely wrong?
It happens.
That is why asking for clarification can be so helpful.
You might say something like, “So, are you saying that…” or “Do you mean that…?”
It does not have to sound formal. The point is simply to make sure you understand what the other person is trying to tell you.
It also lets them know that you are actually listening, rather than just waiting for your turn to talk.
Ask Open-Ended Questions
The kinds of questions we ask can change a conversation.
A question such as “Are you upset?” can usually be answered with a simple yes or no.
But asking, “How did that make you feel?” gives the person more room to explain what is going on.
Some simple open-ended questions might be:
- “Can you tell me more about that?”
- “How did you feel when that happened?”
- “What was that experience like for you?”
You do not need to ask question after question. Sometimes just one thoughtful question is enough to help someone open up.
Be Present and Listen
There are many different ways to communicate in a more supportive and thoughtful way, but these are a few simple places to start.
The next time someone is telling you a story or talking to you about something important, try to notice how you are listening.
Are you giving them time to speak? Do you really understand what they mean? Or are you already thinking about what you are going to say next instead of listening to their answer?
Being a good listener does not always mean having the perfect response. Sometimes it simply means being there and paying attention.
If you have questions about communication, relationship issues, stress, or something else you would like to talk through, please feel free to call us.
Please note: This article is intended for general educational purposes and should not be considered a diagnosis or a substitute for professional mental health care. If you have any questions, would like to learn more, or would like to schedule an appointment, please visit our contact and appointment page or call 214-823-2861.